Virgin Viewing: 'The Exorcist'

Monday, May 9, 2011 - 10:40 am ET

Confession: I hate horror movies. Some people live for the adrenaline rush, but I?d rather get my blood pumping from yoga than from being scared out of my mind. So when it came time to watch an iconic horror movie for this series, I popped The Exorcist into my DVD player at 2 PM on a warm, sunny Sunday. The windows were all open and light was gushing in from every direction. And then I was ready. To laugh my face off, apparently.

The problem that comes up repeatedly during this Virgin Viewing series is that I often have seen some of the scenes from famous movies, or I?ve seen parodies of them. That was particularly true of The Exorcist ? I?d already seen some of the most legendary scenes during those ?10 Scariest Movies Ever? countdowns or whatever they?re called on E! and Vh1. I know that The Exorcist was pretty shocking and revolutionary for its time, but the combination of the outdated special effects and the fact that I?d already seen most of the scary parts made the movie fairly toothless. The scene where Linda Blair spider-walks down the stairs (it?s only in the director?s cut)? Hilarious. The scene where she starts talking with the dead director?s voice? I couldn?t stop laughing.

Where is that line between fear and amusement? Considering that I?m terrified of clowns, the two emotions are a lot more closely linked than I would have thought. Although the possession scenes were startling, I was more grossed out by the gore than terrified by the thought of the devil inhabiting a person. In his director?s commentary, William Friedkin is asked what to make of the end of the movie, and he says that every person sees the ending the way they want to see it, depending what their faith is and their personal beliefs about good and evil are. It brought to mind a quote (which I used as my senior quote in the yearbook, because I was a majorly pretentious seventeen year old): ?Life is a comedy to those who think and a tragedy to those who feel.? With The Exorcist, I was evidently doing a lot more thinking than feeling.

When I think of the movies that have scared me the most, I think of stuff like 28 Days Later and Blindness. The reason both of those movies freaked me out so much is because they seemed ever-so-plausible, like they could have happened to me. I?m definitely worried about disease outbreaks (thanks a lot, lady who kept coughing on the subway this morning), but I don?t think I?ve ever thought about the possibility of being possessed by a demon, especially one with as goofy a name as Pazuzu. The plot of The Exorcist was far enough removed from my own life and experiences that I was able to see it as just a movie instead of a cautionary tale. Now, if you really want to scare the hell out of me? Try making a movie about a broke New Yorker who comes down with some weird zombie virus because she goes on too many late-night taco runs. I?d sleep with the lights on for weeks.

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